Ogden Avenue

passive defensive
half drunk but more tired
forever entangled
with killars and liers

the deepest and most treacherous hole
is what we've spent two long years digging
with masochistic good intentions

we can salvage this

could lie in bed and read all day
window open, heat cranked
perfect balance, warm and fresh
bright and hopeful, yawn and stretch
new words on every page
entwined in blankets, enjoying the silence
tell me your stories, now listen to mine
i'd re-write everything
except for this morning

self preservation; my latest addiction
break it down, dissecct, inspect,
poke it with a stick, see if it's dead
seems to be, but you never bled

don't even try to understand

you wrap your legs around me
and say you have no soul

how strange
and this is how it ends

there's so much more than you can see

but it doesn't matter
because if you can't see it, then it doesn't exist to you
but what if I know that there's something
but I can't prove it,
can't share it
can't show it
what happens when there's a surprise
something you didn't know
something you didn't see
because it was hidden from you all along
did it not exist, even though you never knew about it
was it not real, even though it was kept secret
how many things are out there,
unknown
undiscovered
how many hearts are breaking
because they can't speak
because they can't sing
because they are tangled up in a mess
that they can't find a way out of

there's so much more than you can see

how strange
and this is how it ends

sit up quietly, alongside me,
headlights reflecting in your big brown eyes
cutting through the dark night,
searching and illuminating,
but we're safe back here,
no one can see us now
your hand rests on mine
sychronized heartbeats,
perfect rhythm between us
you're more precious in the moonlight
almost scared to touch you
almost terrified to move at all
we'll watch the cars pass by
sitting side by side
it's too bad the ending came
before the story had a chance to start

we've done it all wrong
messed up every single line
ruined every single scene

we've wrecked the whole thing

missing your depressive tones
your stoned brown eyes
your crooked tooth
missing rides in your grey car
your passenger seat
your hand on my thigh
missing the way you'd look at me
your desperate loneliness
your disapproval

missing the heartache of knowing you

goodbye old friend
we won't think of all that could have been
we won't speak of all that should have been

good bye old friend

[NEED] want, desire, crave, require
[WASTE] squander, misuse, discard
[PURGE] rid, cleanse, eliminate, remove, expell
[FIX] repair, mend, resolve

"i'm like a kid in a candy shop, and you're the candy"

it's the eyes
the perfect symmetry
looking up at me
watching me stand in front of you
why doesn't this work
question of the moment
what pulls you back every time
what pulls you out of my bed
out of my reach
for a while
and just when i'm ready
to give up on you
you look at me again

you said you'd jump out the window with me
you say all the best things when you're wasted

let's just join forces

the snow is coming UP
into my window
into my eyes
up my nose
filling my head,
getting me mangled
running round in circles
ground ground ground
born to be
lost
never found,
undiscovered, unsolved,
wasted and wounded
good bye goodbye, i'll jump i swear,
out the window, and into the snow
thenit'll be ME that flys UP
into your eyes,
and up your nose
god knows i've put enough up mine
and this is retribution, baby
so cover your ears, shield your eyes,
and plug your motherfucking nose
unless you want me after all

i've got all the time for you, love

and I'd still come home for you
if you asked me nicely
and I'd still fuck your brains out
in the back seat of your car
and I'd still buy you a beer
while you hit on the waitress
and I'd still puke my guts out
on your bathroom floor

and I'd still try to break your heart
because you always broke mine

find out today that his friend hung himself..

how I wish sometimes that he could have let me in
but there's something wrong about me
a flaw
which I am blind to
but which everyone else sees clearly
mocking mark
something off with us
something out of tune
we had no range

Migrate to another finger,
Shifting slightly,
Moving slowly,
Make the journey, up and over,
Changing hands, and,
Feeling lonely.

Persistant aches,
Persist in aching,
Wring it out,
Wring it out.

Close your eyes, and I'll disappear for you.

Powered by digust.
Fuelled by indignation.
Lesson has been learned,
With total motivation,
To not look back at all,
Since all that I would see,
Is a sad and desperate loser,
Who once was chasing me.

He crosses them off, one by one,
A mocking check-mark beside each name.